Gran . Ive not posted in years i know and its not because i dont care its because i cant bear to as it still hurts loads. And i cant afford to be weak i have to be strong for my wee family ive got now. Ive got my boyfriend darren and our wee boy carson and a wee one on the way. Ive got my own house granny and i struggle sometimes. Emotionally. It just hurts so much when i know il never see you again. My life has been hard. To court cases with me being the victim to falling pregnant young. To having my own house as a teenager. But see now? Its my past. Ive got my future with my kids. I love seeing carsons face light up. Would do anything in the world to make him happy. Cant believe how lucky i am to have him. I was headed down a dark place and when i found out i was pregnant i turned my life around. I dont know where id be. Your not fully gone you know. I carry bits of you in me and mum does and wel keep passing them down through the years. Like your soups. And your cooking. Your wee things that you advised mum to do and now me and chantelle do it. You are so so wise and i think of you every day. I miss you and my heart hurts but carson makes it bearable. Because as you used to call me hes my little ray of sunshine. Granda isnt the same. Hes so heartbroken and sad i see it in his face. I feel so bad for him it makes my tummy drop when he cries when we speak about you. You really were his other half. I dont see granda often. He is trying to get out more often so hes not sitting alone. When i do manage i struggle to leave. I dont want to leave him or the presence of you. Your smell. Your slippers your photos. Our family isnt the same. Wer not close anymore really. You were our glue. i love you. Rest in peace angel x